Just cropdusted the office
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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