why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
