when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
