he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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