He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
