Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
