So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
