I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
