i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize