I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
