Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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