i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
