Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize