Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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