we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
