What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
