Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
