He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
