Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
