I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Enjoy the penises
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
