I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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