If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
