I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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