Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You were trust falling into bushes
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
