the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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