You made me cry and you don't even care
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
