I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize