You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
