he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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