She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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