you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
