It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
