its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
