I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
