My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
