evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
