What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
