I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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