I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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