so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
