U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
two words: eviction party
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
