I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
