There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
