This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
too bad you live with your parents still
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
