You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
