so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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