Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When are your genitals available?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
