I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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