just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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