So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
