So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
