she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
