Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
