if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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