My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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