I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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