Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
