Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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