It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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