So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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