He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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