I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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