Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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